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european:

ordering food is so stressful

I dont even feel like moving on. I was so into you, literally 2 days ago you got my hopes so high up and then you just shattered everything. I will never understand how someone can just drop someone overnight like that. I know you didnt care about me, i always knew that.. I just lied to myself and said you did. You helped make it a pretty believable lie.. Everytime you kissed me , asked me to come over, even just looked at me, i fell harder. I was stupid. I let you use me. I knew this day would come.. I dont wanna end things badly, but i cant be just your friend. I love you way too much. I love sleeping in your bed , next to you, in your arms, kissing you when i wake up and as i fall asleep. I let you in and you shattered everything as soon as something prettier and better came along. She probably has plugs bigger than mine, shes probably tall and skinny with nice hair, and smokes and listens to your music. And youre probably head over heels for you, why wouldnt she be, youre perfect.. But i can tell you now, she’ll never love you like i did. Like i do..
Fuck. I just dont get how you can do this to me.. I honestly thought we had something…

trust:

when ur outfit on point but ur plans get cancelled

image

(Source: trust)

i am so inlove with this boy. i love everything about him. i would honestly do anything for him to actually realize how much he means to me. tonight he told me he was tired of being alone, and that he just wanted to love someone and be happy with someone, it took everything i had for me not to just scream at him. YOU IDIOT, I WANT TO BE THAT PERSON FOR YOU!! thats all i want. ive been waiting almost a year for you to say those words to me . for you to tell me that want me to be yours. but instead i told him id always be there for him.  our whole relationship is built off mind games. and i love it, its always fun and games. but at the same time i hate it. i want it to be real. i wanna kiss him and know that he actually enjoys it and not have to feel like i never know what  he wants or what hes thinking of me. i just wanna be inlove. i feel like were so close to having that, buut yet weve still got so far to go.  

fuck, why are feelings so complicated. 

"My brother killed himself
on the twenty-eighth Thursday of last year
and I missed four days of work
and my mom wanted to know ‘Why’.
My brother
he was always a fan of beauty
but what he did
was not beautiful at all.

And last week I got the news
that one of my good friends from high school
had overdosed
(again)
except this time
she’d gone too far
and now she was gone.
And I had a hard time falling asleep at night
and her mother
hugged me tight
and thanked me for coming to the service
but I did not
want to be there at all.
This is not
beautiful.

The girl down the street
would’ve turned 21 last year
and I can scarcely imagine
the wild times she would’ve
(should’ve)
had.
But she is buried six feet deep
after falling nearly 300
and she did not leave a note.
This is not
beautiful.

My freshman year of college
and my roommate was beautiful
and how I wanted to be just like her.
But she wore herself down
till she was
almost invisible
and if you blinked
you had to go and find her all over again.
So now her parents are no longer supporting her college tuition
but are paying her hospital bills
watching their daughter crumble.
This is not
beautiful.

So y’all can take your narcissistic
romanticizing
and glamorizing
of self harm and eating disorders and committing suicide
and shove them as far up your ass
as you possibly can.
Starvation is not beautiful.
Killing yourself is not beautiful.
Sadness
is not beautiful.
This note I am writing
is not beautiful.

But you
you are beautiful
and it’s about damn time you start believing it.

"

- (via c-isnenegro)

(Source: runiqu)